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So, my testimony begins!

"Today I found out I have breast cancer. I am shocked and still really don't know how to feel, but I know I'm going to be okay- I have to be. I've told God that I trust in him despite this news that is less than spectacular! The doctor had to keep repeating what he told me because my mind was just not comprehending the news. I'm scared dearly, I'm faithful, I'm strong, and I don't receive bad news. So, my testimony begins!"

That's part of a portion of my first entry in my personal journal when I learned that I had breast cancer. That's how my beginning began. The date was Thursday July 19, 2007.

I discovered my tumor by doing what many women do in the shower, laying flat on their beds, or standing up in front of a mirror.

I was doing a self breast exam. Sadly, there are so many women who still don't or won't. I want to change that. I always did self breast exams, as early as in my 20's, even though in the back of my mind I never imagined I would discover anything. Why would I? There was no family history, I'm young, healthy, I eat right, I exercise, I don't smoke, I don't drink excessively. I did self breast exams because I knew I was supposed to, so I did. Thank God I did.

My tumor according to my doctor was diagnosed as infiltrating ductal carcinoma, about 2 point 3 centimeters between a stage 2 and 3, which meant surgery, chemo, and radiation--even though there was no cancer detected in my lymph nodes.

The hardest part about "the cancer" was the diagnosis-- hearing the words, trying to understand what I was hearing other than, blah-blah-blah cancer, and blah, blah blah
specialist.

Then there was the breast cancer terminology, lumpectomy, bi-lateral mastectomy, reconstructive surgery, and plastic surgery. I felt overwhelmed all the time, in the beginning----I cried a lot, being initiated into the breast cancer survivor sorority was a horrible hazing affair, and it wasn't a sorority I was seeking out. Soon after, I realized I had to get it together. I had to find out more about breast cancer, options, treatment, empowerment, and recovery, and find doctors who I felt comfortable with.

I also decided that I would make my diagnosis and this journey public as an Anchor-Reporter for the number one station in Atlanta. I wanted women to see first hand what the face of cancer may look like. It's not always a woman in her 40's or older. She could be in her 30's like me, or younger even. She is not a woman who looks sick, or always feels sick.

She could be a woman who takes this challenge head on, a woman like me!

Now, I don't want to give you the idea that this has not been very very difficult for me filled with good days and very bad days, but I have Faith, I love God and he loves me. He's in control of it all. Never me.

Finally, believe it or not, when I think about cancer, I'm grateful for it. It has taught me how to live. It's taught me how to be strong. It's taught me how to slow down and appreciate little things. I love life. I love who I am becoming. I don't know if I would be the woman I am now, better, stronger, happier, determined, faithful, grateful---if it wasn't for cancer. Who knew?

I am also blogging about my experience on the WSB website. You can read it by clicking the link below:

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/13908138/detail.html